My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
