ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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