Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize