WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
