i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
