He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
