Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize