apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
