I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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