He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
