You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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