Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He shit in the fireplace
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