We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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