No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
