Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize