so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize