Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
