you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
