You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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