the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
