Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
