When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
