my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
