HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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