No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
