i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
