Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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