he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
