Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
