Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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