Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
