Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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