Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
