Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
