They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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