just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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