Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
