I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
