He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He passed out mid-signature
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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