i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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