everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
