yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
