why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
your room smells of hookers.
And success
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
