She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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