their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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