is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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