He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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