mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Too much gin, very little bucket
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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