Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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