Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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