dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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