Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
