Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize