I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
