all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
