Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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