We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
