Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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