u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
