Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
PANTIES FOUND
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