dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
