I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
