Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
