i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
