his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
