It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My balls are so social today.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
