you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
