I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
